I can’t stop loving

It makes me so angry.

I just want to stop loving him.

He seems to have already just written me off as “his last relationship”

But no matter what I do… I keep wanting him,

What does Jesus want me to do in this? He asked me to marry him, I said yes… and now its over. This isn’t the way God’s plan works. I hate this. Why can’t he just marry me?

Why am I being drug through this?

Every time my phone rings… I take a deep breath hoping to see his name come up on the screen…

Every time I check my email I anxiously wait as it loads awaiting to see his name.

How do I get this to stop?

Why can’t I just hate him? Why do I continually love him?

Everyone says:
You’re better off.
Move on.
Be done with him.
Go on to the next stages in life.

And I try.

But these desires are just ingrained inside of me  and I can’t get them to stop.

What do I do?

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About desireunleashed

Prone to wonder Lord I feel it, prone to leave the One I love. Here's my heart, Lord, take and seal it, seal it for thy throne above.
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One Response to I can’t stop loving

  1. Robin Dailey says:

    I just wanted to thank you for writing…and being honest. I had a “crush” on a guy for a long time, but it did not turn into anything–for which I was glad. But I still let myself get attached more than I should have and I have had to move past shame and self condemnation into a place of healing. I’ve had friends who stood by me and let me talk it out, for which I’m thankful. But no one can really understand…so I had to turn to my Lord. He lets us cry, He holds us close and just lets us sob. I know. He has done it for me. You are making it through this, I know! Just being honest and longing for God’s presence to fill your life shows the growth you are going through! God’s not done with you yet and your weakest points He will always be the strength and support we need–we just have to cry out!
    –Robin, one of your friend Breanna Blythe’s friends (I meet you once 🙂

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